Wednesday, January 05, 2011
We Have Found A Witch, May We Tax Her?
Angry witches are using cat excrement and dead dogs to cast spells on the president and government who are forcing them to pay taxes. Also in the eye of the taxman are fortune tellers, who should have seen it coming.
And President Traian Basescu isn't laughing it off. In a country where superstition is mainstream, the president and his aides wear purple on Thursdays, allegedly to ward off evil spirits...
And President Traian Basescu isn't laughing it off. In a country where superstition is mainstream, the president and his aides wear purple on Thursdays, allegedly to ward off evil spirits...
The tax on witches went into effect Saturday as part of the government's drive to crack down on tax evasion in a country that is in recession. Like any self-employed person, they will pay 16 percent income tax and make contributions to health and pension programs.
And it's not only witches: Astrologers, embalmers, valets and driving instructors are now considered by law to be working real jobs, making it harder for them to avoid income tax.
And it's not only witches: Astrologers, embalmers, valets and driving instructors are now considered by law to be working real jobs, making it harder for them to avoid income tax.
Labels: weird stuff
Monday, January 03, 2011
Private Dining
I was down in Virginia for the New Year's weekend, visiting with the wife's side of the family. My father-in-law took the clan out to dinner Saturday night to one of the local buffet restaurants, a wise option with hungry teenagers in tow.
As is my habit, I went to the men's room to wash my hands before queuing up at the troughs. As I was washing up, an older gentleman entered, a fork and plate full of food in his hands, who proceeded to one of the stalls, entered, and locked the door.
Perhaps he wanted to eat in solitude?
Labels: food, randomness, weird stuff
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I Have No Words
Wow.
A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revellers.
46-stone Donna Simpson, sitting in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world's biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours on Saturday.
The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.
After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a 'salad' made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.
Sorta hoping this is an Onion piece, but it ain't. I guess its good to have goals, but sheesh!
Via Spork.
A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revellers.
46-stone Donna Simpson, sitting in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world's biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours on Saturday.
The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.
After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a 'salad' made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.
Sorta hoping this is an Onion piece, but it ain't. I guess its good to have goals, but sheesh!
Via Spork.
Labels: food, the end of western civilization, weird stuff
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Morning Spam
Some of these randomly generated pitches are beginning to morph into proto-literature!
Johniea there, sure Well, I let go all holts then, like I was shot. It was the most honey, and all the pet names he could think of; and was for having us four long sweeps at each end, so we also with Kennya to pray for Judus if she took the notion--there thought nothing, only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my strawberries, ripe and prime; and green summer grapes, and green where.
Ginaa at the mill, and we'll smouch it, and truck and eight dollars besides. I wish we could have some bad luck like of a mile above it, in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a hurt time did Admission 50 cents. to the village, or else he will chalk this raft so he can find it again. in the long run. I've tried 'em all, and ther' ain't no better way." The other fellow carpenter; and about Harvey's--which was a dissentering minister; and so by the big bell, with an old slouch hat hanging on the back of it, when One day Buck and me was away out in the.
Johniea there, sure Well, I let go all holts then, like I was shot. It was the most honey, and all the pet names he could think of; and was for having us four long sweeps at each end, so we also with Kennya to pray for Judus if she took the notion--there thought nothing, only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my strawberries, ripe and prime; and green summer grapes, and green where.
Ginaa at the mill, and we'll smouch it, and truck and eight dollars besides. I wish we could have some bad luck like of a mile above it, in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a hurt time did Admission 50 cents. to the village, or else he will chalk this raft so he can find it again. in the long run. I've tried 'em all, and ther' ain't no better way." The other fellow carpenter; and about Harvey's--which was a dissentering minister; and so by the big bell, with an old slouch hat hanging on the back of it, when One day Buck and me was away out in the.
So, what noun should follow the final, random article in this piece?
Labels: spam, weird stuff
Monday, December 21, 2009
Have Yourself A Christmas Probe
Friday, we get a card in the mail. From the envelope, it looked like a Christmas Card. Inside, there was a card, depicting the Enterprise (or perhaps the Constellation) flying into what looks at first blush to be the planet destroying doomsday machine from the second season of Star Trek TOS.Labels: Christmas, health care, weird stuff
It turns out the card is an advertisment for a Moon Township proctology practice urging people to get a colonoscopy. The image face of the card actually depicts a Federation starship flying into an enormous interstellar asshole. Here we see the crew has set phasers to cauterize!
Labels: Christmas, health care, weird stuff
The best part of the ad shows the doctors dressed in TOS costumes and making sophmoric ass jokes. I love me some medical professionals with a sense of humor! Being sophmoric myself, I giggled at the card. Click the pic for a larger view. One of the redshirts asks "Is that Uranus?" while another muses, "Shall we look for Klingons?" It almost makes me want to get the procedure done, just to have a laugh with some docs who know how to have a chuckle at their own expense, but I think I'll wait until my PCP suggests a probe.The best part of the story is that my wife thought this was an actual Christmas card, and stuck it up with the others from friends and family. Just what everyone wants to see at Christmas, a spaceship flying up a giant rectum!
Labels: Christmas, health care, weird stuff
